Clean Slate

I started the computer so I could get around to writing a bit about last night, but a giant error forced us to reinstall windows which deleted everything I had worked on in the last year or kept in reserve. I'm vaguely sad; there's more of this feeling of emptiness.

That feeling initially started last night as I laid by this creek by myself staring up at the stars after everyone else had gone their own way, some without warning (last night was the old crew back together for the first time since April. We all seemed to get along well enough after the awkwardness subsided).

It was so peaceful looking up at the clouds and stars, but I was spacing out real bad, I mean, at one point there were clouds and then next thing I knew they were gone. Heh, also saw my first shooting star around 9:30. But while it was peaceful, I also took it as a chance to try and figure out what the hell was going on inside me.

Thoughts about how dangerous delusions are have been on my mind since last night. Ah, the power of delusions.

I just know I've got no grudge towards her, it seems to be the other way around, which I know is my fault. I dunno.

Losing everything on the computer has really gotten to me though, I feel so dead right now, so unidentifiable... don't know if that's the right word for it...

Whatever, I'd do better to get my mind off of at least one of the subjects I've covered here. It's bad enough I couldn't sleep as usual mostly because of that vague emptiness from last night.